Crash-landing
This is not going to be a paraphrase of my A-Ha! effects. This will evaluate how a couple of things have changed for me throughout the studies at the HWR.
The A-Ha! effects will play a role though.
In the beginning of the semester, I clearly had a problem. Not knowing whether this is what I want to study and to apply these studies in life later. I clearly identified a problem, but was not able to formulate it in a clear way. I knew something was not right.
In order to find out what was going on, I had long conversations with family, friends, strangers and myself. I figured out that talking to myself is the easiest way to deal with the problem but not the smartest. People tend to lie to themselves and so do I sometimes.
Talking to other people is not always the right thing to do. People and especially family and friends tend to tell you what is best for you, not what you want to hear. What is best for you can clearly confuse you, if you can’t figure out what is best for you by yourself. That is what you need to know first!
Still, talking is very important in order to tell others whats going on in your brain. Otherwise they will not understand the situation properly and can not give advices or hints.
So I planned to talk to a lot of people. Just let them talk. I sucked up all of the words, tried to filter and categorize them. The higher the amount of input, the more order is necessary.
There is a lot to get into the right order after a 2 hours lasting, inquisitorial talk on the phone with your father. Not a lot of fun, but important. Not all of the conversations were a pain in the ass. Some of the people I talked to have thoughts and fears that are pretty similar to mine. It is good to know that you are not the only one. These conversations might have been the most motivating and inspiring ones.
I talked to a lot of people, heard a lot of opinions and the great thing was that all of them were true to a certain degree. Now it was up to me to set that puzzle together.
The picture told me that I need to decide what I want from my life. Where I want to be in maybe 20 years from now. This certain period will be the cornerstone for my future.
Roots
After all those conversations I figured out a root cause for my for my problem. It was not about people wanting me to do stuff I don’t want to do. No. It was about me not having a plan. This turned out to be the most significant problem.
Maybe I would have never recognized it if I hadn’t started my studies at the HWR.
What do I want?
And now, what do I want to blog about? I guess I would not have picked the start-up crew because of the topic.
It was because of the people. Dealing with a new situation and topic. Somewhat of a challenge. So I gave it a shot. It definately was a challenge. Not the people, not the topic, but the art of writing. I am more of a poetic writer. I like to write poems, thoughts and lyrics. It was hard for me to write in a strict and academic way. Problem number two, you can’t always write poems. The most significant difference is that the brain does the research, not the internet.
Loosing the snakes grasp
I want to solve a problem. My problem was not having a plan. In order to solve the problem, I needed a target state. Where do I want to be?
I set that straight with myself. I know where I want to be. Business might not be the worst basis in life, because one has to deal with it anyways. Whether I will become a famous painter or writer. (Just kidding right here) But who knows? I wont be the one getting ripped of by shady managers, I tell you. Figuring out where I want to be really set me free.
The treasure map
Now I’m still in need of a treasure map. The thing I know about my map is, that there will be some dangerous shortcuts full of venomous animals, intelligent traps and dangers. I might also just get eaten by a creature hungry for human flesh. This could happen tomorrow or the next time I cross the street. The creature would be a car in this one. Nevertheless I figured out a plan for myself, which way, turn or shortcut I will take and whether it is the right or the wrong one, I can not determine. The important thing for me is the plan and a couple steps ahead of planning in order to know whether I’m prepared for the dangerous shortcut.
A follow-up plan would be great, but I guess I will think about that when it’s time to. At this point I want to thank everybody who supported me in those strange days.
Lucas
emilybrgmnn
Ibwoman
Lilian
Nico
berlin stirred.up 
Lilian
February 12, 2012
Wow Nico, that’s a very personal post. It’s interesting that you applied your AHA-effects to a broader picture than just the BusApps class. I had the feeling you addressed your problem very well and I think the way you described it makes many people feel with you. Choosing what to study can be kind of a hard decision, having in mind that this decision will shape your whole future. I know these kind of doubts as well, as I felt for myself that studying something creative like photography, drama, architecture or design would fit my interests more. But unfortunately in these kind of professions, people are often without a job and have to struggle to afford their living. Nevertheless, I’m convinced that when you have a vision in mind about what you want to become, you should definitely do it and you will finally find your way. But what if you’re not sure if the vision you have is the right one for you or you have so many visions that you can not decide…?
In the end the decision lies with you, no matter with how many people you talk, but I think there is something very true in what you said in your post: Business is a good basis for everything you would want to do in your future life. You can take these studies as a chance to figure out what you really want to become and then maybe study something else afterwards. Your business background knowledge will help you in any area and I’m sure you will find the right path!
emilybrgmnn
February 12, 2012
Hey Nico,
that’s a really great post! I like the way you write down whats on your mind and give it a structure that I can relate to. I guess “finding your way” is never easy and without trying out what you think might work for you, you will never know what suits you and what not. When thinking about studying I didn’t have a plan, thus I just looked through everything and cancelled out what I DID NOT want to do. Thats what got me here and as you say in your post, a plan is a good starter, but you usually don’t know upfront where it will lead you. So I guess you will just find your treasure map step by step without even realizing you’re on the path.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and I’m hoping you don’t regret any of your steps so far!